Can we become all that we have dreamed? Can we have that lavish house, full of beauty and awe? Can we have that car weve always wanted? What about that beautiful family that weve longed for? Are any of these things weve dreamed of within reach in this new, ever changing world? The question is, are you happy with the way you are? Are you happy with the less than lavish house, lacking the beauty and awe youve dreamed of? Are you happy with the car you are driving right now? And that family…how happy are you with the family you are with right now? Are any of the things youve dreamed of within reach in this new, ever changing world, with the way you are living now? The answer is this; Be content with the life you are living now. Be thankful for the things you have right now. Be joyful that you are living a life that will present these opportunities. The true question is, what are you doing to accomplish those dreams? Are you moving, or standing still? Do the things you need to accomplish those goals in life, but always remember, there will always be something that you want above all things. How hard are you willing to work for it?

This is probably the most….heart felt song i have ever written in my life, and im going to break it down for you, verse by verse. Its called Youthful Desires.

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth (for those who know her, shes a very good friend of mine now)
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled to you (when i got kicked out of my house…i ran to her for comfort.)
Someday you will be loved. (this line is a gradual progression of me realizing she is not “mine” throughout the song)

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend (when my mother kicked me out…)
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You’ll be loved you’ll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved (this entire chorus was written for the girl previously mentioned.)

You may feel alone when you’re falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you’ve yet to meet
Someday you will be loved (this verse was when i came back from Cali….i knew she wasnt “mine”)

You’ll be loved you’ll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You’ll be loved you’ll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

Wow…brings back some memories…alot of them. *shakes his head* This is basically my brain at work. I communicate better through songs or poems than i do when i actually talk. *sigh* to be young and careless again…

Well…this is my new layout…for now. I dont know if i like it.

Its raining outside…which would normally be a beautiful thing, but one matter at hand is making it a horrible, horrible thing; Rooster 8. Sit down, grab some hot cocoa, wrap yourself in a warm comforter, and relax as we take a journey into this place where i will be dwelling for the next 10 days…..*cue the swirly fade swoosh thingy*

It sucks. 12 miles of dirt, hills and stupidity. As i mentioned before, it is raining here, which means mud…12 miles of stupid, unnecessary mud. For what? To maintain the “Fight Tonight” mentality of 4-7 CAV. Well, Mr. Cav, guess what. If we got attacked by North Korea right now, there is no way we, in the Camp Casey, Camp Hovey enclave, would be able to stop them. A 1 million+ man army against what, 8000 at the best? Yeha…good call. My tail would be heading on the first flight back to the states ASAP. That had nothing to do with Rooster 8 im sorry lol. Its basically a training site for 4-7 CAV and its sister units. We have been challenged by a bunch of Tankers to find them in this area…a sort of recon mission. Well, if you cant find a big, loud metal box you deserved to be shot. I must go now…oh wait *cue the fade thingy again*

There…i must go now and prepare to Fight Tonight, and the next night…as a matter of fact, for the next 10 nights. Be well, have fun…and pray i dont get wet…i hate getting wet.

               I Want You

Fall into you, is all I seem to do..
When i hit the bottom, coz I’m afraid to be alone.
Tear us in two, is all it seems to do..

As the anger fades, this house is no longer a home,
Don’t give up on the dream, don’t give up on the wanting, and everything that’s true.
Don’t give up on the dream, don’t give up on the wanting..

Because I want you too,
because I want you too,
because I want you too,
because I want you,
because I want you.

Stumble into you, is all i ever do..
My memory’s hazy..and I’m afraid to be alone.
Tear us in two, is all it’s gonna do..

As the headache fades, this house is no longer a home,
don’t give up on the dream, don’t give up, ont he wanting,
and everythign that’s true.
don’t give up on the dream, don’t give up on the wanting..

Because I want you too,
because I want you too,
because I want you too,
because I want you,
because I want you.

Fall in to you, is all i ever do!
When i hit the bottom, coz I’m afraid to be alone..tear us in two, tear us in two, tear us in two..

Because I want you too,
because I want you too,
because I want you,
because I want you.
Because I want you too,
because I want you too,
because I want you,
because I want you.

  just my thoughts….

And you,
Can bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
That I could beg you please
In vain
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
And I leave
My burdens at the door

But I’m on the outside
And I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won’t end
It’s for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It was from you
All the times
That I cried
My intentions
Were full of pride
All I waste
More time than anyone

But I’m on the outside
And I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I’ve cried
All this wasted
It’s all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It’s back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can’t mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be okay

But I’m on the outside
And I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

so…heres an update, b/c i know youve (being the people) are in need of one. 1: ive lost my best friend in Korea….she was killed….dont feel like talking about it. ill tell you if you ask me. 2: 4 suicide attempts this past week, all of which i have had to cover on my shift….these people seriously need to stop being so darned selfish.3: i miss my family and others really alot over these holiddays…4: Why….why the heck am i here right now God…tell me.

hmm…21 today. no different than any other day in my life. woo hoo

Judith

You’re such an inspiration for the ways
That I’ll never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you 
**** your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why

Not like you killed someone
It’s Not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side
Talk to Jesus Christ
As if he knows the reasons why
He did it all for you
Did it all for you
He did it all for you..

Yeah…ouch…im so ashamed…

You know…i was going through some notebooks that i brought here to Korea with me, and i came upon a song that i wrote when i was going through the roughest part of my relationship with me mother, which has been completely repaired btw….love you mom.

Hold on

Moving in slow like the smoke from your cigarette,
Every step a closer’s a step that we both will regret,
Keeping a tally, but who can keep track?
Your overreacting is taking me back to a time better left alone,

Holding onto the phone,
Holding onto this glass,
Holding onto the memory of what didn’t last.
Waiting for better words,
They’ll never come.
So dry your eyes,
It’s better,
Now it’s done…

Keep a tight grip like a child holding onto a swing set,
Waiting and hoping to find what I can’t figure out yet,
Please don’t unless this is something to me,
Another nightmare instead of a dream,
Better left alone,

Holding onto the phone,
Holding onto this glass,
Holding onto the memory of what didn’t last.
Waiting for better words,
They’ll never come.
So dry your eyes,
Its better,

Holding onto the phone,
Holding onto this glass,
Holding onto the memory of what didn’t last.
Waiting for better words,
They’ll never come.
So dry your eyes,
Its better,
Now it’s done…

I never lost so much…
I never lost so much…
I never lost so much…

Holding onto the phone,
Holding onto this glass,
Holding onto the memory of what didn’t last.
Waiting for better words,
They’ll never come.
So dry your eyes,

Holding onto the phone,
Holding onto this glass,
Holding onto the memory of what didn’t last.
Waiting for better words,
They’ll never come.
So dry your eyes,
Its better,
Now it’s done…